February 28, 2012


The other day, Linsey and I were taking a walk. I'm not sure how it happened, but we started to play a game. We went back and forth saying qualities of our future husbands.

"He'll wear vans or converse," I said.
"He'll take me on super romantic dates," Linsey added.

This went on for a few minutes, us giggling at our high expectations for the perfect man. The truth is, there is no perfect man. There is no "the one." As hard as that is to swallow, I believe it with my whole heart. I believe that God puts us in situations where we can either take what He's given us or leave it.

Sometimes I worry that I've given up on opportunities too many times. I worry that I won't find "the one," because of all of the mistakes I've made and people I've hurt. But as I look back, I can see how God has grown me, molded me, and changed my expectations.

Although I often call out my silly expectations for my future husband, I know deep down that he will most likely not be a decisive, cute dressing, uber smart/talented older man who knows when to fight with me and when to tell me I'm right. But I do know a few things about him.

I know that he will love the Lord more than he loves himself and more than he loves me.
I know I will be able to talk to him about anything.
I know we will be silly together and have fun!

I know these things because they are not my expectations of him, they are my standards for a future husband. They are things that I am not willing to settle on because they are just that important to me. I know men like this exist, and I'm patiently (some days more patiently than others) waiting for him to arrive at my front door and ask for my hand ;) (More like I'll stalk him on facebook for weeks until he finally asks me out)

Linking up with vintch today in her series on relationships.


vintch said...

love this!

it's so true how God molds us and shapes us through our circumstances to make us the perfect mate for our future marriage. i tell robert all the time, "it's the craziest thing in the world that out of everyone on this planet, we would find each other...we fit together so well." but i have to remind myself, it's not crazy. it's just the crazy beautiful way God works.

thank you for your perspective! and thank you also for linking up:)

Ashlee said...

This is so beyond true..and actually what I needed to remind myself of.

I barely 'Dated,' I'd much rather sit at home, curled up in my room, reading or writing. Of course there were more then a few boys that caught my eye but most of the time, we never 'Clicked.' They turned out to be WAY different then I thought they were, which was good because we never actually dated and I didnt' have to go through that Drama. I was also raised to believe that We shouldn't date anyone we dont' see ourselves marrying. Which is why I've only had 2 boyfriends, but 1 being super serious, I think the first one was just to say "Hey World, I can get a boyfriend. I'm not a total lost cause"...

But now, I have been with my amazing boyfriend for 2 years and life without him would be..lame? It's weird though, he is my complete opposite but is molded perfectly to fit me. God just knew who to put in my life and when. Even though he isn't everything I always THOUGHT I'd find in a partner, he is everything I always DREAMED of having in a partner.

God works his magic. :)

- Ashlee Michelle

ginanorma said...

Oh I am so happy to hear you are waiting for those non-negotiables as I like to call them!
You have a good balance here and such wisdom, and that will ease you into marriage a lot smoother I think.
I also love what you said in the beginning that we can either stay or walk away from what God has given us...oooohhh love that. I look forward to more of your journey, I am following you now!

Mel said...

Thank you so much for sharing! I really like how you talk about relying on God while waiting for your spouse. So good!

Courtney Kearns said...

Lovely post:) I remember thinking the same things before I met my husband. Somehow Heavenly Father found a way to bring him into my life when I needed him the most. Don't settle! Facebook stalking does help, hah. Thanks for stopping by my blog!

Leah said...

This is so sweet Mel, and so real! I love that you're realistic, no matter how hard it is. I can't wait to see the guy God has for you! :)