Moments

I have moments all the time. I know the word "moment" means something similar to "minute." But to me it's more than that. I don't have another word to describe what I mean, so I'm going to continue calling it a "moment."

I have moments all the time. Do you know what I mean?

Moments when you look at where you are and think "This is what I've always wanted."

I have these kinds of moments when I'm walking from one room to another in my apartment and remember being a little girl pretending to live in a college apartment with her best friend. That's my reality now. And sometimes it still feels like I'm that little girl playing pretend.

I have these kinds of moment when I walk into my school and one of my students gives me a big hug. Being a teacher has always been my dream. Always. And now I'm so close I can touch it. It's scary and nostalgic and exhilarating.

Moments when you think, "How could I ever be this lucky?"

I have these moments when I'm with my friends or family. When everyone is happy and laughing and I take a second to look around and watch their faces and listen to what they have to say. My heart feels like it's about to explode from happiness and I can't help but smile.

I have these moments where I'm curled up in bed after a long, happy day and my kitty curls up next to me and falls asleep.

Moments when my heart aches for the future.

These come on all the time. I could catch a glimpse of my friend's engagement ring. Or read a blog about a new baby. Even just being in my own head for too long can leave me with big ol' heart pains. I think, "I could do it so well! I could be such a good wife, such a good mother." But I know that every second I am forced to wait for those things, I am becoming a more understanding and loving wife, and a more compassionate and patient mother.


My moments are mostly good. Sometimes they make me want to cry. Mostly they just make me thankful for where I am, who I am, and who I have.